Greed - Wabi Sabi - Grey's Anatomy

This is a sort of rant ....

This has been a week in my life where I've hit a point of clarity. Where all signs in the Universe - by my beliefs, God - seem to be speaking to me....

Today in Church we discussed greed - holding wealth as an Idol. In that discussion, we referenced Jesus stating that in order to be trusted with the wonderful gifts of eternity where what we will have is so much, we must first prove ourselves in this life where what we have is so little in comparison. It reminded me of the quote my mother has always said to me... especially at the time of Bri's diagnosis, "Jill, the most we get in this life is 100 years. There's a much more important life after this one that means so much more."

Last week I received a book in the mail I had ordered after listening to NPR - "The Wabi Sabi House." It's about the concept of appreciating the Imperfect, the Unfinished, Simplicity... The author goes on to extend this idea beyond aesthetics to the very way one leads life, appreciating and finding the beauty in the here and now of a less than "idyllic" circumstance.


On Thursday I watched Greys Anatomy, where one of my favorite characters had an abortion because her love for her occupational aspirations out shined any hope of becoming a mother.

So what do I gather from all of this? One, I think it's "greedy" to want a "perfect" baby. Let's be frank here - no child is perfect and no child will ever grow up to be perfect. While there are often obstacles and health concerns that go along with a child having Down Syndrome... this by no means that a baby with this condition is born any less perfect than any other child. Every child that comes into this world will make mistakes, will have health concerns, behavioral complexities, etc. The diagnosis of Down Syndrome simply gives you a clue as to what you might be facing.


Pulling in my Wabi Sabi read, by societies standards having Down Syndrome is an imperfection. I might argue, however, that it is this very uniqueness that makes my daughter so special. Down Syndrome in my life has given me the rose colored glasses with which I see the world. This diagnosis has given me the ability to appreciate every single milestone reached and moment I have with our little girl. My "imperfect" little girl is more appreciated by those around her than any child I know.

As for Grey's Anatomy, what might have made for a rating-filled plot line proved more than disappointing on my end. I think the greatest gift one can have is to become a mother... to give that up on account of a occupational aspirations is unfathomable in my eyes. It seems selfish. It seems greedy.


I'm by no means perfect or without humanly desires for perfection. I simply mean to bring to light that we are all human, and imperfect. A striking 94% of babies with Down Syndrome are aborted each year upon pre-natal diagnosis. This makes me sad for the babies, but even more sad for the mommies who miss out on such a beautiful perspective into the world and lovely memories they would have had with these soulful little babies.


I will end with this.... On Friday morning we woke up as a family, and my husband commented, "Look how beautiful she is! I can't believe how everyone wanted us to have an abortion." To which I quickly replied, "Not everyone hun, just a few particular assholes." "Ass-Hooo" Brianna reiterated. . . Oops, guess we won't use that description anymore! First thing I thought was the "Little Fockers" movie... then I was proud of our daughter and her ability to repeat so quickly, then I realized again that I can no longer say whatever I like around this little lady. I took humor in the moment, and thanked God for my family.

Typical Saturday

7:30 I wake up to a voice saying "Up! Up!" Sleepy-eyed, I walk into the nursery to find a beautiful little girl standing in her crip with her hands reaching up and out to me. I brush her long blonde bangs out of her eyes and pick her her up. "Common, lets go potty" I take her to the bathroom, take off her dry diaper, put her on the the potty, and she tinkles. "Yay!!! Good girl! Mommy's so proud of you!" We both smile. Brianna says "All Done!" I put on her daiper "Puh Puh" she says. "Yes, you went Potty. You are a big girl now!" 7:45 I let Gemma outside. Brianna walks over to the glass door, knocks on it, and says "Duh Duh" for dog and waves to Gemma. Meanwhile, I make her Organic Cherrios (Trader Joe's Brand), Organic Oranges, and a sippy cup of Organic Whole Milk. I put her in her high chair and she eats with her spoon. She takes a couple sips of milk, looks me in the eye, throws her cup. I pick it up, without saying a word. Defiantly, she looks me in the eye again, very serious faced, and throws her cup. Again, not saying a word, I put the cup in the fridge. 8:30 Brianna watches Baby Einstein while Mommy does a load of dishes. 9:00 Brianna and Mommy fold laundry. By the time mommy's done, Brianna has 3 articles of clothing successfully over her head - none of which are shirts of course (1 pair of dady's boxers, a sports bra, and the arm-hole of one of daddy's shirts. 9:30 In the toy room, Mommy browses on the lap-top while Brianna plays. 10:00 The door bell rings, Brianna hears her dad's voice. She says "Da Da!" and runs down the hall to her dad. He scoops her up, gives her a hug, tells her she's beautiful and that he missed her. (Dad had a special project and had to work this morning) 11:00 Organic 3-Cheese Pizza, Organic Grapes & Banana, and Organic Whole Milk for lunch. This time, Brianna drinks her milk rather than throwing it. When she's done, I give her Organic "Cheetos" as a treat. She eats them all, "More" she says and signs. I proudly give her more. she eats them all. "All Done!" I clean her up. 12:30 Mommy has more laundry to fold. Brianna's playing with Stacking-Eggs. She decides that its a good idea to drop them down a small crevis between our mattress and bed frame. When I ask her what she's doing, she giggles hysterically. She runs over to me, hugs my leg and says "I-Did-It! I-Did-It!" (her favorite phrase). 1:00 Time for nap. Standing in her crib, Brianna knocks on the near window trying to get the attention of the neighbors outside. Ten minutes later, she falls asleep. 2:00 I go in the Nursery check on my blessed angel. Still sleeping. I think to myself how wonderful our life is. I silently thank my mother for raising me to know that each baby is perfect and deserves to live so that when naysayers recommended abortion I knew better. I thank God for another wonderful day with my daughter. That's our Saturday so far. Tonight our friends who are Brianna's God-Parents are coming over for Wings. Makes for a nice lil' Saturday.

Brianna - 20 Months

I haven't written in far too long... I don't have much time tonight - but something is better than nothing!!!

How's Brianna? She's doing great! It is impossible to be anything but elated when she is around.

WALKING
Brianna began walking at month 20!!! Whoo hoo! The expected age for a child with Down Syndrome is 24 months - so we consider this an accomplishment. She is so proud of herself with each step she takes.

I will say that there were moments I was sad that she didn't walk right away at 12 months. Brianna did everything else on time. However, those moments were few and far between because as I say all of the time - how can you be sad about someone who is so happy?

EAR INFECTIONS
Ooooh, scorn you ear infections!!! Brianna has had one on top of another - and yes, she has tubes. We are hopeful that after replacing her right tube and with warm weather around the corner her health will improve. While it bothers me to have Brianna in any sort of pain, and Dr.'s office visits are not the way we would choose to spend our time - we are extremely thankful that this is the extent of Brianna's health concerns.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS - ( Not an Inclusive List - Pulling these off the top of my head )
* Sing's & Gestures: Baby Fishy, Twinkle Twinkle, Head - Shoulders - Knees - & - Toes
* Words: Mama, Dada, I-Did-It, Right-There, Dog (Doh), More, All Done, Up, Bye-Bye, Hi, Hello, Poop (hehe)
* Signs: Fish, Star, More, All Done, Eat, Milk
* Loves Pointing and saying "Right There"
* Imitates using the forehead thermometer on mom and dad
* Eats with Fork
* Drinks from Sippy Cup
* Doing VERY well with Potty Training (Dry Yesterday & Tonight at home!!!)
* Climbs Toddler Jungle-Gym, Goes Down Slide
* Climbs Stairs

HAIR CUT
Brianna got her first professional haircut this month. She was perfect!