Sunday, September 25, 2011

Greed - Wabi Sabi - Grey's Anatomy

This is a sort of rant ....

This has been a week in my life where I've hit a point of clarity. Where all signs in the Universe - by my beliefs, God - seem to be speaking to me....

Today in Church we discussed greed - holding wealth as an Idol. In that discussion, we referenced Jesus stating that in order to be trusted with the wonderful gifts of eternity where what we will have is so much, we must first prove ourselves in this life where what we have is so little in comparison. It reminded me of the quote my mother has always said to me... especially at the time of Bri's diagnosis, "Jill, the most we get in this life is 100 years. There's a much more important life after this one that means so much more."

Last week I received a book in the mail I had ordered after listening to NPR - "The Wabi Sabi House." It's about the concept of appreciating the Imperfect, the Unfinished, Simplicity... The author goes on to extend this idea beyond aesthetics to the very way one leads life, appreciating and finding the beauty in the here and now of a less than "idyllic" circumstance.


On Thursday I watched Greys Anatomy, where one of my favorite characters had an abortion because her love for her occupational aspirations out shined any hope of becoming a mother.

So what do I gather from all of this? One, I think it's "greedy" to want a "perfect" baby. Let's be frank here - no child is perfect and no child will ever grow up to be perfect. While there are often obstacles and health concerns that go along with a child having Down Syndrome... this by no means that a baby with this condition is born any less perfect than any other child. Every child that comes into this world will make mistakes, will have health concerns, behavioral complexities, etc. The diagnosis of Down Syndrome simply gives you a clue as to what you might be facing.


Pulling in my Wabi Sabi read, by societies standards having Down Syndrome is an imperfection. I might argue, however, that it is this very uniqueness that makes my daughter so special. Down Syndrome in my life has given me the rose colored glasses with which I see the world. This diagnosis has given me the ability to appreciate every single milestone reached and moment I have with our little girl. My "imperfect" little girl is more appreciated by those around her than any child I know.

As for Grey's Anatomy, what might have made for a rating-filled plot line proved more than disappointing on my end. I think the greatest gift one can have is to become a mother... to give that up on account of a occupational aspirations is unfathomable in my eyes. It seems selfish. It seems greedy.


I'm by no means perfect or without humanly desires for perfection. I simply mean to bring to light that we are all human, and imperfect. A striking 94% of babies with Down Syndrome are aborted each year upon pre-natal diagnosis. This makes me sad for the babies, but even more sad for the mommies who miss out on such a beautiful perspective into the world and lovely memories they would have had with these soulful little babies.


I will end with this.... On Friday morning we woke up as a family, and my husband commented, "Look how beautiful she is! I can't believe how everyone wanted us to have an abortion." To which I quickly replied, "Not everyone hun, just a few particular assholes." "Ass-Hooo" Brianna reiterated. . . Oops, guess we won't use that description anymore! First thing I thought was the "Little Fockers" movie... then I was proud of our daughter and her ability to repeat so quickly, then I realized again that I can no longer say whatever I like around this little lady. I took humor in the moment, and thanked God for my family.